all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
