If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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