Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

(608): View more from Wisconsin

clearly you are not from wisconsin

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(818): View more from California

you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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(765): View more from Indiana

So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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(705): View more from Ontario

Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?

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(954): View more from Florida

He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.

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(+49): View more from Germany

So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly

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