Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Operation Purity has been aborted
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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