GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
