Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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