Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
