im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
