Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
