for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
