what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
