It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
