Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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