OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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