Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
