His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think your dad took our porno
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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