when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
