i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
