Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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