im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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