her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
