32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
that is very illegal...i love you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize