My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
