Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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