Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
