I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
