he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
