how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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