I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
