Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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