My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
