I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
