Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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