I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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