it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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