We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
bring money and cleavage
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
