He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
