took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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