why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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