Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
