I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
