I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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