Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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