i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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