you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
