I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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