i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
