i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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