Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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