Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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