We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
