I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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