he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
