I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
