apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
