i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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