Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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